day 49 - 04/28

it was so nice waking up in a warm bed at the bears den hostel cuz it was frickin cold this morning. i finished the remaining four hills in the rollercoaster and then it started to hail. it amazes me how such a tiny little piece of ice can pack such a punch. just as my hands were starting to freeze again i made it to the blackburn trail center, which is the home of the potomac appalachian trail conservancy group. boy did i hit some trail magic. there was a cub scout troupe staying at the center with way too much food that they kept giving me and i got to teach the cubs about my long distance hike. they were so in awe it was very entertaining. i then hit the trail to make it to harper's ferry by 17:00 so i could visit the main office of the appalachian trail conservancy (atc). the pic below is of my recorded pic of the 2012 class album. it surprised me that i was number 35 to check in. there were over a hundred people that left from springer just on my weekend alone and probably 500 from the time before i left. harper's ferry is such an interesting place. it is like stepping back in time. it actually reminds me of some towns in rural england, like ludlow. there is a specific charm to floors and walls so old there is a pronounced slant that is noticed when walking down a hallway. i also met three great thru hikers. the pic is attached simply cuz the boy to the right of me is 12yo! 12yo and he is hiking the entire at with his father. i was humbled. such a cool young man. mentally he is way beyond 12yo. also, the woman all the way to the right has hiked over 16,000mi! i am staying at the towns inn hostel for the night and then will probably nearo out of town tomorrow. oh, and apparently harper's ferry, while not the half way point mileage wise, is the chronological half way point. meaning that it typically takes twice the time as it takes to get to harper's ferry to complete the entire trail. so, at 48 days if i kept up my current pace i would finish in 96 days, or 23 days ahead of schedule. ya, no thanx. i enjoy it too much to be done that quickly. so i basically have some banked zero days to play around with. it's always nice to have savings. i also passed mile 1000 today. 20.5mi from bears den hostel to harper's ferry. 1015 total.

blueblaze - the matrix

so first of all, you need to have enjoyed the movie "the matrix" before you can even understand this post. if you haven't, stop reading, go watch the movie, and then please continue reading. secondly, i have to share some of my root assumptions as i find them to differ from a majority of other people's root assumptions. first, i guess i should define what i mean by root assumption. so in any system, be it the individual, church, corporation, government, or group you have a basic and fundamental set of agreed-upon, regardless of whether or not they are necessarily agreeable, rules, codes, laws, ideas, etc. here is where i like the word "assumption" cuz it is more general than the aforementioned words. i also like the word "root" cuz it gives you a definite sense and even possibly a visual of the assumption being fundamental and root-like as the foundation from which all other ideas and group consciousnesses spring, just as a tree or plant sprouts and rises from its root system. gosh, hopefully i am making sense and haven't lost y'all already. so in any given intersection of space and time, humanity has a set of root assumptions. for example, we all, well most of us, agree that the earth is a sphere. then more and more finite sub groups under the overarching group of humanity have their own root assumptions. for example, in the west we have a focus more on the individual whereas in the east there is more of a focus on the group. so with all that said, i will share some of my root assumptions so you will be able to understand what i mean by the matrix. first of all, i will out myself right now (no, not in the way many of you assume or predict i should based on my gender identity within the currently available choices of the matrix - sorry to disappoint, but at this intersection of time/space there are no boxes in the matrix in which i fit ;) ) by telling y'all that this hike is primarily a spiritual journey above all else. my mind is in the realm of the topics of these blueblaze posts for a majority of time as i hike the seemingly unending miles. i only share what i think i can verbalize in a way that will be comprehendible and what i think people are ready to integrate. there is the primary root assumption of my hike - spiritual awakening. why, you may ask? this process actually started way back in 2007 with a series of very personal and life changing events, culminating with (here is where i will out myself again) my death this past labor day. yes, my death. when my gall bladder ruptured and i was air-lifted to the hospital to have it removed, i actually died for 2 minutes. to say this was life changing is stating it mildly. i haven't shared this with anyone as i have spent the six months leading up to my decision to hike processing my own death experience. so as for root assumptions, prior to 2007 one of my root assumptions was: not sure about god, but i basically believe in a biological model where we exist and then die, end of story. sound familiar? maybe your's varies a little, but i have found this to be common in western cultures. ya, my existential root assumption has changed quite a bit. first, i should say that as a psychologist i believe that reality is all perception and is therefore what you make of it. starting in 2007 i began changing my reality to include the possibility there is existence beyond the biological model - that we do eternally exist. who was i to argue with the world's oldest religions? then there came a point where i made a choice and said to myself: it doesn't matter what the real Truth is, with a capital T, i am choosing my reality to be that i have a soul, eternal and separate from this vessel of a body that currently carries it, which can never be harmed or destroyed in any way. now remember before you judge me, for you too where once a slave in egypt (love that phrase), that i have already acknowledged that reality is of your own creation and that it is what you make of it. this is what i can tell you of what happened when i died: one enters a place i will call "the in-between." not like with ghosts who are actually trapped in a quasi dimension because of their inability to accept the reality of their own physical death. this is a reality of your own making. if you believe in heaven, heaven it shall be. if you believe in hell or purgatory, there you shall be. this will be your reality until you become conscious of the reality of your physical death and that you still "exist." for me, i was already in this frame of mind so i went on to an immediate gestalt review, not linear (hard to describe), of my life - my dharma and my karma. (please just look up concepts or words so i don't have to be too verbose, which for many of you i fear i already am) aka - my intentions for this life and my desires. there was no judgement. there was just choice. in my case, it was remain or move on. the sense was: rejoin fully with "the one," (insert god or whatever your favorite phrase is, but for me this being of perfect unity was unnamable), or return to this current life, cuz my body was salvageable, or a new reincarnation to continue experimenting with separation and duality. there even seemed to be a countless number of choices within which i could continue my learning about separation from unity - in other words earth was only one choice of many three dimensional places, within many dimensions. well, needless to say, i chose to return to this life. i was, however, fundamentally and forever changed cuz my root assumption changed. i chose a spiritual versus biological belief system and then had my proving experience to back up my belief. what is the Truth with a capital T? idk! i think that only the avatars and our fragmented souls when we choose to rejoin "the one" know the Truth. i choose to believe in my current root assumption because it is just a happier and more pleasant one than any others i have experienced. let me make it clear that while i may integrate concepts from the world's religions, religion is ultimately the creation and machination of man and therefore fundamentally flawed. i believe our little three dimensional school of separation here on earth would actually be a much happier and freer place if indiviual spiritualism was the order of the day and religion no longer existed. so anyway, there you have some of my root assumptions. i chose to share this so as to be even more authentic with y'all and so as to give you a basis for this concept of the matrix. now i don't mean some evil machine created technological matrix like in the movie, but a matrix nonetheless. look up the word matrix. hinduism has the concept of maya, with which i actually gravitate more towards, but i use the term matrix for the western mind because it is so technological in its essence. within any given culture or group consciousness on earth, there is a matrix into which people plug themselves. i observe this so clearly cuz currently i am not plugged into the american matrix on a daily basis. the biggest human matrix i could possibly plug into on this hike is the thru-hiker culture. but i have been blissfully in a bubble of no hikers, so clarity is a great gift at the moment. i of course enjoy plugging back in from time to time, but i have to admit it is quite overwhelming at times. i accept being called feral by the woman at skyland restaurant on day 46 cuz thru the eyes and perception of someone fully plugged into the matrix i must absolutely look wild and feral. i mean, i am. i am unplugged and untamed by the matrix in which i physically live. i want to be clear that i am not placing any negative, or even positive, value upon the matrix. it just is. this further hits home as i read "the hunger games" in camp in the evenings on my iphone (a part of the matrix i still refuse to unplug from). this is a conceptually brilliant literary example of a matrix with an utterly disagreeable root assumption. do you agree with people starving in this world when most americans just throw food away? of course you don't. it is our current matrix. i can see it so clearly because i am unplugged. this is the whole purpose of my hike - the spiritual awakening that comes from physically removing myself from the matrix in which i live. does everyone need to do exactly this? no. would the world be a better place if everyone found there own way to unplug even for a brief moment? yes. be a revolutionary. be change. step out of the matrix of your life and take a look around. what are you afraid of?

day 48 - 04/27

i planned my miles so that by the end of today i could stay at the bears den hostel, reportedly one of the best on the trail. so after hiking 18.8mi in 5.75 hours, i got to sign put up by the blackburn potomac appalachian trail committee warning hikers that one is about to enter "the roller coaster." upon studying my guide i discover that i will quickly ascend and descend 9 peaks, some with a 600+ft elevation change, in only 9.8mi. so basically a mountain per mile. it was quite a roller coaster of a ride. so, needless to say, when i got to the bears den hostel, with its thru-hiker special of a bunk, hot shower, laundry, pizza, soda, and a ben n jerry's pint of ice cream all for 27.50, i was in elysian fields! (yes, that reference was for you uncle bink) i realized as i was putting in my laundry that other than rinsing my stuff out in streams and springs when dry weather permits, i haven't done laundry since damascus - aka 530mi ago. oops. i must not have smelled bad because when i asked the ladies at pass mt shelter they said i surprisingly smelled good in an "outdoorsy, manly way." maybe it's the pheromones??? lol. absolutely love the bears den hostel, which is on top of the 9th roller coaster hill, northbound (nobo), of course, in an old castle-like stone building. really cool. definitely tops the list of all the places i've stayed so far. 28.2mi from denton shelter to bears den hostel. 994.5 total.

day 47 - 04/26

so last night was great because i was finally at a shelter with some company. i haven't seen anyone other than day hikers on the trail since i entered snp. there were three young ladies who were quite funny plus it was just nice to be around some women. there were also two section hikers. who finished section hiking the whole trail back in '94 after 41 years of doing different sections! so cool. it was great to hear their stories and the changes that have taken place. after saying goodbye, i stopped after only 6mi on the trail to visit my final wayside before leaving snp, where i again had a yummy breakfast. i did a longer hike today, sadly leaving snp and despite my sore right ankle, so i could stay at the jim and molly denton shelter, which is a newer shelter with a nice front porch with a comfy bench and even a solar shower. unfortunately, when i got there the temp had cooled quite a bit and the wind was really blowing, so no tepid solar shower for me, thank you very much. the shelter itself was very nice and thankfully, and so far uncharacteristically, had very little mouse activity. schweet. 31.7mi from pass mt to jim and molly denton shelter. 966.3 total.

day 46 - 04/25

so i have started calling the shenandoah national park (snp) "campground disneyland." i don't mean it a judging way at all, but it is very commercial and gives only the facade of wilderness. it was an awesome change, but not the kind of hike i would want to do every day. the great part is that i haven't had to carry a whole lot of food because of the many waysides and restaurants. today i hiked from bearfence shelter and stopped at big meadows wayside for an egg and cheese bagel sandwich and an order of french toast and then hiked 'til 13:30 where i stopped at skyland resort and restaurant for some great local beer, soup, a burger, fries, and bread pudding. yummy. i also heard myself described in a whole new way thru the eyes of someone plugged into the matrix (to understand what i mean just read my blueblaze post about the matrix). so i am sitting about 30ft away from an older couple and since my hearing is very acute from not being bombarded with noise all the time (yes, i have discovered that humans are quite noisy), unbeknownst to them, i can hear every word they are saying. when i sit down the husband says that i look different. "how?," the wife asks. he says, "not as plump as these other hikers." (there are several day hikers also eating lunch) a few seconds go by and he says "very lean." about a half minute goes by and in the meantime i notice the wife assessing me from head to toe (mind you, they are dressed in their sunday best on a wednesday) and she leans in close to her husband and whispers "feral is more like it." lol! i apparently look feral! i love it. officially the best name i have ever been called. got to love the matrix. mahamaya ki! jai! the restaurant, in addition to having great food, had awesome wifi so i also got to chat with my mum and dad, which always makes for a great ending to an awesome day. 26.8mi from bearfence to pass mt shelter. 934.6 total.

day 45 - 04/24

from winter to spring in one day. there was still quite a bit of snow leftover from yesterday's freak snowstorm, as you can see from the pic below. it was so incredibly beautiful hiking today in a t-shirt and shorts with nice cool snow all around. such an awesome gift of a rare hiking experience. i have been struggling with a little, but very persistent shin/instep soreness in my right leg and foot, so hence the lower mileage. i decided to listen to some music today to take my mind off the soreness, which is something i rarely do. i don't and generally can't listen to common or popular "music" anymore cuz it just sounds noisy and angry and mostly just gives me a sensory overload headache. so there is music i have found that is of a higher consciousness, imho, of course, that really integrates with and even enhances my natural surroundings. thanx to zoe keating, emancipator, tom kenyon, and yo yo ma performing the bach cello suites for providing some real trail magic. i did venture into popular music yesterday by listening to mumford & sons, who have a great celtic influenced folk sound. they do have the requisite angry, hurt, sad, and devastated broken heart/unrequited love tracks on the album, but there are completely awesome spiritual, non-religious themes and i eventually happened upon "awake my soul" and was blissfully singing "awake my soul/for you were made to meet your maker" as i was strolling thru the forest. i think i had some songbirds chirping along and made more than one day-hiking couple grin from ear to ear. i finished my day by grabbing a couple beers at the lewis campground to enjoy just a mile up the trail at bearfence shelter. oh, and i passed mile 900! 20.6mi from pinefield to bearfence shelter. 907.8 total.

day 44 - 04/23

snow! the weather said it was possible and given the temp drop yesterday it is not surprising. but it is april 23rd! i am not even that high up in elevation. only 2000ft or so. wow! the pic below is from when i started, but trust me that there was much in only a couple hours. it was really coming down. i hiked 8mi and decided to take a chance on the first wayside that i passed in shenandoah national park (snp). in snp you cross skyline drive, which is a scenic road that goes thru the entire length of the park, about 100 times and every 25mi or so there is what is called a wayside. it is a small single pump gas station and then a restaurant with short order food. my guidebook said that the loft mt wayside opens on 04/22, but maybe because of the several inches of snow on the ground they decided it was still winter, cuz it said "closed for the winter" when i walked up to the door. i was very cold at this point, but i got back on the trail and hiked another 5mi to pinefield gap shelter. i have never been so happy to see a shelter! at this point my hands were not working so well. i of course became fascinated by this phenomenon - that my core could be fine, but my extremities were so cold they were sluggish and not responding right away. then i reminded myself that it was probably a good idea to get warm. lol. they were definitely hypothermic cuz i had to use my teeth to open my backpack and get out my sleeping bag. i just crawled right in, put my hands in my armpits, and went right to sleep. i am grateful that my core stayed warm cuz i suppose it could have gotten dangerous. i just love the experience. the latest i recall winter weather like this was on april 1st, 1997 in massachusetts during my freshman year of college. this is april 23rd in virginia! so cool. i love snow. obviously i am writing this after my hands have warmed up cuz they were not iphone functional 5 hours ago at 15:30 in the afternoon. i wish i could have hiked farther today, but the weather was just a little too much. 13.2mi from blackrock to pinefield gap shelter. 887.2 total.

day 43 - 04/22

i hate to admit how much i enjoy starbucks coffee, but it was oh so good as i sat there and waited for my aunt and uncle. we had a great breakfast and visit together. they have been so generous and i appreciate it so much. i was appreciating my aunt, her name is karen, as i set off on the trail after leaving them at 10:45, because she has taken such an interest in my hike and invested so much time in researching thru-hiking info. just to make sure they would be able to meet up with me she made a list of all the possible shelters on the trail given my average daily mileage thus far and the towns near i-81 with which they intersect. waynesboro worked out perfectly. she also knows all the things a hiker might want, like ziplock bags. this may seem silly, but ziplocks are like gold for a hiker. she even brought the exact right ones. also, even though i already got one, she brought a perfect-sized, half used, compressed roll of toilet paper. karen you rock! thank you so much! and my uncle has been so generous! to top it off, my cousin's girlfriend, shelaigh, baked me a whole batch of home made cookies. you have no idea how great this was because the weather got really funky yesterday. it was raining off and on all day and the temp really started to drop. so, by the time i made it to the shelter, i was very cold and wet and those cookies, which i ate in one sitting cuz they were so good, really cheered me up. i actually cried in appreciation thinking of all the support and love people have given to me on my journey. thanks karen, john, and shelaigh. you made my difficult day of hiking so much easier. 20mi from waynesboro to blackrock shelter. 874.0 total.

day 42 - 04/21

waynesboro is such a great little town and the people are super hiker friendly. i got a hike into town immediately and lots of info on where to eat. i first hit ming's chinese garden for a $13 all-you-can-eat (or ayce for short) buffet. not only was there great chinese food and sushi, but an awesome salad bar. fresh vegetables is something every thru-hiker seriously lacks, so i really enjoyed a huge salad. well, two huge salads actually. after updating this blog at the library, which has the nicest staff ever, i found out my aunt and uncle (the same from last wednesday) are driving past on their way back to florida. we made plans to meet for breakfast tomorrow at a local diner called "weasie's." can't wait to see them. staying here in waynesboro for the night. 15.5mi from rock point overlook to waynesboro. 854.0 total.

day 41 - 04/20

holy hiking, batman! i hiked over 10,000ft in elevation change today. after hiking up to the priest mt at 4,063ft, i descended down to the ty river (where i skinny-dipped again - shhh, don't tell anyone), only to hike up 3,016ft to three ridges summit. totally awesome day, except i'm pooped and am going to bed. it is way past hiker midnight at 21:05 anyway. the video above is of where i am hammocking tonight. what a sweet spot. on to waynesboro tomorrow for a resupply, hot food, and some r&r with another nearo. 26mi from seeley-woodworth shelter to rock point overlook. 838.5 total.